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Heartache

by Color for Colors

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1.
Courtyard 04:24
You were like a primrose through the window of a lightly furnished room, in a gently tarnished home, upon a brightened bricked road And you were rows of street lamps in the midnight chasing darkness up and down the block ’til the morning stumbles in as you ask it, “where ya been?” And why must I now speak of you in past tense? like I’m thumbing through an atlas of a world I used to know, marking spots you didn’t go And why must I only find you when the time slows? or maybe when the sun goes, like I found you in the shade, in a courtyard yesterday ‘Cause I, I was crying in the courtyard I was crying in the courtyard and you’re never gonna know no, you’re never gonna know That I, I was crying in the courtyard it was only in the courtyard and you’re never gonna know no, you’re never gonna know I never got to say goodbye to you never got to say goodbye too I never got to say goodbye to you never got to say goodbye too Hey, do you think you could forgive me? do you think I could forgive you? do you think I’ll be okay when I think of you today? ‘Cause I, I was crying in the courtyard I was crying in the courtyard and you’re never gonna know no, you’re never gonna know That I, I was crying in the courtyard it was only in the courtyard and you’re never gonna know no, you’re never gonna know
2.
Be Something 01:48
All I can see through the window are trees I can be something you can be something But it's like I've never tried outside of maybe one or two times Rise from my chair and saunter down the stairs I can be something you can be something Then I think why even try when I don't even believe in myself I'm tired of always looking for something that I can’t find behind the trees I'll hide so tired of always looking for something to change my mind and make me blind to the roads I'll never drive
3.
Heartache 03:07
I’m gonna take my heartache down two floors, I’m gonna bury that feeling beneath my core I’ll watch it turn into something I can’t ignore, what’s new? (I’m gonna take my heartache on down it’s a feeling I’ve found I’m gonna bury it underground) Saturday night, yet I can’t fight this feelin’ another drink in my hand, but I can’t stand this feelin’ resigned to my bed, though I can’t shed this feelin’ the morning will break, but I can’t shake this feelin’ Why do I carry this heartache? another year over another year older now Why, do I carry this heartbreak another year older another year over and I just can’t find my way In the night, try to shield the weight of every memory I can’t seem to shoulder I’m just not the soldier I could be I’m gonna take my heartache down two floors, I’m gonna bury that feeling beneath my core I’ll watch it turn into something I can’t ignore, what’s new?
4.
What should I do with my sorrow If I can’t let it be free? ‘cause it’s stirring around in my body, cut open my gut, see the rings of a tree And how could someone live so easy, when the world gets so hard? 'cause even the luckiest people, if they survive, they eulogize someday And when it’s my turn to see darkness, what will I be there to see? ‘cause the street lamps aren’t doin' much chasing and the morning, well it ain’t here for me And how could someone live so easy, when the world gets so hard? ‘cause even the luckiest people, if they survive, they eulogize someday
5.
Rainbow I 01:59
You can call it a rainbow but all I see is rain you can call it a nightmare but it once was just a dream An accident we could call it an accident they said an accident an accident an accident an accident...
6.
Rainbow II 01:36
7.
It was a knock out call over in a second it was blasted to the end of the wire we'll have to find a new hero dancin' in the shadows hungry for the thrill of the wall Afraid to step outside, before the morning comes afraid to live my life, like I'm a loaded gun I'm trying to find my way back I'm strolling through the past, the future's gonna save me, the present's just a fad Can I reach my prime from my living room? am I wasting time when I'm in a groove? still got my eyes on stardom and still afraid of death, how long can I hold my last breath? It was a knock out call over in a second it was blasted to the end of the wire we'll have to find a new hero dancin' in the shadows hungry for the thrill of the wall
8.
Do you wanna be my do you wanna be my do you wanna be my lightning rider? etching highways in the sky Do you wanna be my do you wanna be my do you wanna be my highway driver? steering me safely through the night When she left, she left all her thoughts behind she was right, on the wrong side of her mind hiding away in the lost blind spots of time when we all die, we're all survived Do you wanna be my do you wanna be my do you wanna be my blindside fighter? destroying bad guys on the right Do you wanna be my do you wanna be my do you wanna be my wayward finder? clearing dead leaves from the pile Behind the clouds tryin' to ground myself but all I ever felt was powerless until you showed Your energy took hold of me 'til we were we now I know you like the back of my hand like the back of our hands Do you wanna be my do you wanna be my do you wanna be my lightning rider?
9.
Primrose 04:16
Some days are fine, some days are fine, some days I find it’s important to remember you Some days are fine, some days are fine, some days I find that it’s kind of hard, ‘Cause every time I think about you, you die and I wish I could save you inside of my mind, I try, yeah, I try It couldn’t have been easy I mean it must’ve been hard for a primrose to grow in the shadow of us And I wish we coulda saved you and I wish you coulda saved yourself from all the heartache you held on to Some days are fine, some days are fine, some days I find it’s important to remember you Some days are fine, some days are fine, some days I find that it’s kind of hard ‘Cause every time I think about you and I wish I could save you inside of my mind, I try, yeah I try It’s never gon’ be easy It’ll never be the same as before we grew in the shadow of you, And I wish we coulda saved you, and I wish you coulda saved us too from all the heartache we hold for you It’s important to remember you, it's important that I remember you, it's important to remember you it's important that I remember you, I need to remember you I need to remember you I need to remember you I need to remember you
10.
Dreamer 01:34
When are you gonna be out here? when are you gonna be out here? when are you gonna be out here? when are you gonna be out here Ollie?
11.
Missed Calls 05:15
Trying to write some songs about your life has been the toughest part of mine but it’s not like I still breakdown if someone brings you up sometime It’s been tough ‘cause I’m trying to find you trying to find you deep beneath this haze where I always bury my heartache like some cursed prize inside a maze Began to write some words about your gift for always keeping moments light then got sidetracked remembering how you cut me down in our last fight We were as close as any but then again how close could any get? my love for you is plenty so much that I never got to spend Like a gentle drum that stupid sun beat down upon my cell phone’s screen three missed calls triggered walls so as to shield my childhood dream That we all live forever and every day we have is free from the pain and silent sadness in this critically acclaimed tragedy You championed my artwork more than anyone I ever knew you made me laugh, you made me mad we’ll always have Wayne’s World 2 I’ll miss my time beside you and the bond we built between your days I’ll carry on your kindness celebrate each trail you tried to blaze

credits

released August 3, 2022

All music and lyrics written by Ollie Hobson
Additional bass arrangement by Ryan Cleary for tracks 1/2/3/5/11
Bass performed by Ryan Cleary for tracks 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/11
Saxophone arranged and performed by Michael Buckley for track 1
Drums performed by Matt Roarty for tracks 1/3/4/5/6/7/11
Trombone performed by Jacob Eugene Horn for tracks 5/6/11
Trumpet performed by Ian Terry for tracks 5/6
Violin performed by Jonathan Hodges for track 8
Cello performed by Rachel Schuldt for track 8
All vocals and other instrumentation performed by Ollie Hobson
Produced by Matt Milkowski and Ollie Hobson
Recorded primarily at Miller St. Studios in Chicago
Mixed by Joe Delfino, Chas Lilly, and Ollie Hobson
Mastered by Bob Weston at Chicago Mastering Service
Album art by Zach Knapp and Ollie Hobson
Sincerest thank you's to Lauren, Matt, Alexandra, Wendy, Chas, Ian, Claude, David, Laura, Alex, Jeremy, Nicki, Gabe, Thea, and all the generous kickstarter backers

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Color for Colors Chicago, Illinois

Color for Colors is the moniker of Ollie Hobson, an artist and songwriter who lives in Chicago

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